Today, I have a special treat for you. May I present....The Timeline of the Creation of a Blog Post in the Mind of Sweet Laurel, in Twelve Hours:
7:47 AM: Wake up, stretch, blink in the sunlight. Allow cartoon bluebirds to alight charmingly on my outstretched finger. Think innocently to self, I'd really like to write a blog post today! I love the internet. Anyone can just start up a blog and share ideas and it's all wonderful.
But what to write about?
Going to pour a cup of coffee and think about that.
9:12 AM: BOOM. Avocado Lime Sorbet. So simple, so creamy, so delicious. So not-requiring-an-ice-cream-maker (a major plus if you're working in a tiny apartment kitchen like mine). I've made this before, and it's a winner. This recipe will make people happy! Hooray, to the blog!
9:13 AM: Better just check Facebook/Pinterest/email/Tastespotting/blog stats/Twitter first. Man. Every other blogger has about a million more followers than I do. Am I, like, the unpopular, quiet pigtailed kid on the playground, turned away and buried nose-deep in Jane Eyre while everyone else is whooping it up over hair tips in Sassy magazine? And where did I get this incredibly, painfully specific mental image from, anyway? Woe. Cry bitter tears into my coffee.
9:17 AM: Still tearing up at the mere mention of Twitter. More coffee. Who cares about followers, anyway? I hate the internet.
10:25 AM: Tears dry. Hey wait, I have integrity. I started a blog because I wanted to share stories and meet readers who are as fanatical about ingredients and process and beautiful results as I am. I am a blogger because it creates a magical kitchen space for me to inhabit and bring others along with me. It's not all about page clicks and retweets and SEO is it? NO. It's about crafting a narrative. And today, it's about silky, pale green avocado sorbet. YES. Onwards! To the blog!
12:12 PM: Still having trouble crafting that first sentence. Come to think of it....what actually is 'SEO', though? I should probably know that. For all I know, it stands for Suitcase Engineers' Organization. Sweet Existential Outrage? Savory Elderberry Orecchiette? Salted caramel on Everything is Outstanding (a viewpoint I can consistently agree with)??
To the Google.
12:17 PM: Well. There sure is a lot here.
1:37 PM: Does anyone actually understand all of this? Reading about search engine optimization has the same effect on me as having just eaten a plain rice cake....I feel as though I've chewed and chewed for a long time on something, but in the end just taken in a lot of air and no actual content.
I've gotten a little sidetracked here. Avocados. Blended to a smooth, luscious puree with tons of fresh lime juice, whipped gently together with sugar. That's something we can all understand.
2:50 PM: Doing the dishes, grumbling about unfairly perpetrated expectations of perfection as I scrape petrified mustard from plates.
4:51 PM: Write a couple of sentences on perfectly ripe avocados and how to spot them. Take a quick break to Google 'how to become a successful blogger'. Just curious. I mean, I'm sure there's no one right way to.....
....wow. Okay. There are a lot of things I haven't learned how to do yet. Books and books' worth of opinions on the subject of monetizing your blog space, utilizing keywords, optimizing search results and tracking metadata. What is metadata? 'Creating content'? I thought I was creating magic. All this seems at odds with the clean, sunlit kitchen fantasy I want to exist in, where I can happily stir sauces in my copper kitchenware and craft elaborate stories rich with detail around each of my recipes. 21st-century Julia Child with a DSLR. Deep in a new fantasy where I can afford to pay someone who understands all this behind the scenes stuff to write my keywords and track my metadata, while I flit merrily around in the kitchen taking exceptional photographs of my rustic wooden spoon collection. I love the internet. I hate the internet. I love the internet. I hate the internet.
5:37 PM: Finally getting around to writing up the recipe for the sorbet. Wow, this part actually couldn't be simpler. I......love the internet?
Avocado Lime Sorbet (no churning required)
3 perfectly ripe avocados
juice of 6 smallish limes (I know citrus varies in size quite a lot; my six wee limes yielded about 8 T juice)
3/4 cup confectioner's sugar
Peel & cube avocados directly into the pitcher of a blender, cover with lime juice. Blend until creamy, transfer to large mixing bowl. Using a wire whisk, beat in sugar until completely dissolved & evenly distributed. Transfer mixture to a wide container (this is to maximize surface area; I used a large rectangular plastic container from my favorite Swedish megastore), cover tightly with lid or plastic wrap and place in freezer.
Remove container from freezer every thirty minutes for the first three hours of freezing and stir mixture vigorously to homogenize ice crystals. After three hours, allow mixture to freeze completely. Serve (with toasted coconut flakes, ideally!) and enjoy.
7:47 PM: Finally hit 'Publish' on finished sorbet blog entry, pleased with the writing and the photography, and trying not to sweat too much over comparisons to other blogs, career self-doubt, and general existential angst. This recipe will bring joy to someone's day, even if no one ever mentions it on Twitter. I will keep the faith, and live to blog another day. And if only I'd thought of it twelve hours ago (five minutes of blending and stirring plus a day to chill in the freezer = dessert with practically nonexistent effort), I could be enjoying a sweet, luscious frozen scoop of avocado lime sorbet showered with golden flakes of toasted coconut myself right now.
Ah well. I'll get it right next time. :)